New Year's Resolution

As traditions tells us to, this year I promised myself that things will be different. I will be loyal to me and stick to whatever change I decide to make for this coming year. After all, this is what it is all about with these New Years Resolution stuff, isn't it?


Every year millions of people promise to themselves changes in their lives, just to forget about them in the very first days of the new year. I was wondering why and decided to look deeper into this story. What I came across was so simple, almost ridiculous.


People don't hold to their new years wishes because they don't know what to wish for and always go for the first thing that comes into their minds. And in general, as fast as it comes into the mind, it leaves...


So, here is the deal. I came up with a list of the most desirable wishes for New Year for you go go through now, so that you have time enough to give it some thoughts and actually make the change you picked happen! 


Here we go, have fun choosing and don't worry, you can thank me next year. Don't forget to tell me if it worked for you, OK!!!!!


HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL OF YOU!

• Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.
  
• I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.
  
• I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.
  
• I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.
  
• I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
  
• Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.
  
• I will give up chocolates totally. 100%. Completely. Honestly....
  
• I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.
  
• I will stop sending e-mails to my wife (husband).
  
• I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
  
• I will stop sending e-mail, MSN, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
  
• I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
  
• I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
  
• I will think of a password other than "password."
  
• I will not tell the same story at every get together.
  
• I won't worry so much.
  
• I will cut my hair.
  
• I will grow my hair.
  
• I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!
  
• I will be more imaginative.
  
• I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.
  
• I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number. 

And for those who are scared of making resolutions here are some resolutions they would actually be tempted to keep!! 

• Spend more time watching TV / movies.
• Chat more over phone / Internet.
• Read less.
• I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds.
• Stop exercising. Waste of time.
• Procrastinate more.
• Drink. Drink some more.
• Start being superstitious.
• Spend more less time at work.
• Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.
• Take up a new habit: Maybe smoking!
• Last but not least, I will use sunscreen...

Merry Christmas - Hohoho...

A Message from Michael Jackson - let's not forget...

Give Love on Christmas Day...

Feliz Navidad - Jose Feliciano

Merry Christmas to My Friend(s)

                    M is for MY friend, a truly special person I hold so dear, 

                    Y is for YOU, that person who by my side is always here, 

                    F is for FOREVER, the time I know our frienship will last, 

                    R is for REMINICING, of the times you've been there in the past, 

                    I is for INSPIRATONAL, for the way you've dealt with troubles through the years, 

                    E is for EMOTIONS we share, whether it's laughter, love or tears, 

                    N is for NEVER doubting that your frindship will always be mine, 

                    D is for DOUBLE the happiness, I wish on you my friend, at Christmas time! 

                      In Love
                      Robert

My Christmas Tribute to Mom's (and Dad's)

A tiny little story in recognition for the great job Mom's do all year long to keep us happy. 

(valid also for Dad's that do Mom's job, when she is missing)

A Mom's letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I've been a good mom all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my two children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor, sold sixty-two cases of candy bars to raise money to plant a shade tree on the school playground and figured out how to attach nine patches onto my daughter's girl scout sash with staples and a glue gun.

I was hoping you could spread my list out over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18 years.

Here are my Christmas wishes:

I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache after a day of chasing kids (in any color, except purple, which I already have) and arms that don't flap in the breeze but are strong enough to carry a screaming toddler out of the candy aisle in the grocery store. I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month of my last pregnancy. If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like a car with fingerprint resistant windows and a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk on the phone.

On the practical side, I could use a talking daughter doll that says, "Yes, Mommy" to boost my parental confidence, along with one potty-trained toddler, two kids who don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without the use of power tools. I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting, "Don't eat in the living room" and 'Take your hands off your brother,' because my voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only be heard by the dog. And please don't forget the Playdoh Travel Pack, the hottest stocking stuffer this year for mothers of preschoolers. It comes in three fluorescent colors and is guaranteed to crumble on any carpet making the in-laws' house seem just like mine. If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served in a Styrofoam container. If you don't mind I could also use a few Christmas miracles to brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare ketchup a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an organized crime family; or if my toddler didn't look so cute sneaking downstairs to eat contraband ice cream in his pajamas at midnight.

Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the chimney and come in and dry off by the fire so you don't catch a cold. Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave crumbs on the carpet.

Yours Always...Mom.

P.S. - One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my children young enough to believe in Santa.

A great holiday for all of you!

yours truly

Robert Ziehe

"December 15th 1962" or "I am glad I came out straight!"

Sometimes we wonder why things are the way they are. Well I came to understand a lot better who I am, after reading a little in the history books. 


Here is what I found:


The number one hit on dec. 15th 1962 according to Billboard Music Week was


"Big Girls Don't Cry"by the Four Seasons

Yeah, OK! Got it. 


It gets better! The most selling "STEREO" Album, yes, stereo! In 1962 they still were producing and selling LP's in MONO and had a special billboard for mono and stereo productions! ... so, number one stereo was "The First Family" by Vaughn Meader. Some kind of comedy show, a parody on the presidential family. We are talking about about JFK and the first Lady Jacky Kennedy. 
Don't know if that was a good idea!


Oh, just in case, Elvis and "Return to Sender" was number two record right behind them gay fellows - Four Seasons.... come on people... What was wrong with you guys!!!???


Ricky Nelson though, signed a 20 year contract with Decca Records that granted him 1 Million Bucks in record revenues and the production of 2 feature films. Wow...  


In Argentina number one hit was "Speedy Gonzales" from Pat Boone ...
Kid's at that time gone crazy with the new "Rack-a-Ball", a pin ball machine that was just non plus ultra... 


David Lean's epic film Laurence of Arabia, featuring Peter O'Toole, Omar Sharif, Alec Guinness, Jack Hawkins, and Anthony Quinn premieres in London.
The last execution by hanging in Canada takes place. U.S. spacecraft Mariner 2 flies by Venus, becoming the first probe to successfully transmit data from another planet.


John Lennon secretly married Cynthia Powell.


Well, I could go on and on. What I learned is that I came to this world in some troubled times, were man dressed funny and looked and acted pretty strange, war was a good business as it is still today, many people aimed for peace but didn't really succeed ... technical revolution was taking up speed, TV was still black and white and if you wanted to make an overseas phone call you had to call an operator and wait sometimes for hours till he got you connected. 


And I am glad I lived trough all this. I am glad I made my friends before internet and MSN so I could enjoy being with them in person and not in front of a monitor. I am glad I actually met Elvis and The Beatles even if at very young age and I barely remember. I am sad I never met Michael Jackson but I am glad I could enjoy his legacy almost from the beginning. I am happy for the parents I have and my siblings, the education I got, my friends the wife I had and the beautiful children she gave me. I am happy for my life and if I had a chance to change anything, I wouldn't.


Thanks to all, that on this very day took a minute of his time to write me a note and connect with me even from the far. You have no idea how important that is and how much I appreciate you doing. Thank you for being part of my life and being part of me, cause I am the person I am because you made me so! And I am very thankful for that.

Love

Robert Franz Ziehe

Traveling

I’ve been a little lazy lately. Didn’t show up here to update my blog. But, as a matter of facts, I didn’t came because of this laziness, but actually because I’ve been quite busy doing other stuff.

The end of the year is always like this. At least for me. I pass revue on all what happened to me the past months, prepare for the holydays and many birthdays, my oldest made 9 in November, I’m due in December and the younger one is celebrating her 7^th in January. And this year seems to be special because I have already my agenda for the next months pretty full. At this very moment I am sitting in an airplane on my way to Boa Vista, Roraima, at the very north of Brazil, border to Venezuela. On tour again with my friend Raul Gazolla. We’ll have 3 presentations this weekend and getting back on Monday to catch a jet again on Thursday, this time heading south to Socorro – somewhere close to São Paulo.

X-Mass knocking at the door and right after, I will take my kids for a long vacation to the northeastern beaches of Jõao Pessoa. 3 weeks for the first time in years! I actually wanted to take this vacation in Europe, but because of my divorce I can’t take the kids overseas, yet. To sad but tha’s the way it is…

I am looking anxiously forward to that New Year. So many good things happened to me and I am involved in some great projects. But best of all, with all the new work I still will have time to dedicate to my babies (yeah I know, they are no longer babies, but for me they will be – forever). Quality time with the kids, nothing better than that, for a single dad. Hmm, can I call me single dad or should I say divorced dad? Anyway, year ending great and the next one staring even better. I sure am a lucky person.

All the best for you guys, thank you all for listening (reading) all my crap and not getting to bored and I hope from the bottom of my heart that you all have a great holyday season and an exceptional magnificent year of 2011.

Love

Trend

Why do people trend to just complicate their life's? It appears that nobody likes it easy. And I am not saying "the easy way" or so. I say, look around and become aware that your life is good! See how fortunate you are and as long you have health you can consider yourself a very lucky person. 


I can almost hear people say: "Shut up! You know nothing about me! How can u say my life is good?! Idiot!!!" Maybe not as harsh, but surely pretty close to that.


But I can say. I know more about you than you realize. I know for instance that you had proper education, you can read! I know that you have access to modern communication and to a computer. You probably live in an apartment or a house in some city and you have a TV set, a refrigerator, a car, a phone, ... a job. You have ... and because of that you are part of an elite group. You are part of the 2% of Earth's inhabitants that actually have access to all these things I just mentioned. Yes, only 2% of us have all this. And the funny part is, I start believing that these 2% are the ones that most complain.


Why can't we just sit back and enjoy what we have, maybe even share a little with someone not as fortunate as we are. Wouldn't it be good once in a while to look in the mirror and to be proud of ourselves? To say yes instead of no, to say I have time and I am just fine and not sorry, I am in a hurry! 


You know what I found out that gives me a humangus pleasure? To listen! Yes, listen to your friends and listen to your family. Listen what a stranger has to say with no prejudice and no opinion. We don't have to have an opinion all the time. We can just listen once in a while, and learn from others. 


And some times we can take life just a little easier, go against all trends an be happy with us and our achievements. Slow down a bit so that we can actually see again what surrounds us. We can stop and take a look at the mirror and see us again. And if you realize that your life isn't that bad at all, you can become a happier person. Than you can share this happiness with others and we can all become happier. 


Or maybe I should just shut up and leave all alone in that crazy race in pursuit of happiness, a happiness we all already have but just can't see. 


Don't know.  What I know? Tomorrow I will pick up my babies again and I will sit with them and play with their Barbies and read stories and just be a dad, no producer, no photographer, no filmmaker, no ... just a dad. And I will be happy doing so.


By the way, my youngest one just lost a tooth. She pulled it herself and I was sitting next to her and I was a very proud dad and I was very happy that I did not miss this special moment. A moment that never comes back and if I had been busy and not taken the time to be with my children, I'd have missed it. Forever ....

The Meaning of Life

Today I got touched by a friends more or less desperate pursuit for reasons for her misery. A cry-out to the world seeking for answers.


There are none.


Isn't it so? Whenever we have doubts, when we are sad, lost, alone ... we seek for the reasons and the answers everywhere but the place where we could actually find them. Within ourselves.


I truly believe, and that I have in common with a very holy person - the Dalai Lama, "The reason for everything and the answers to all questions are in us!" Deep inside we know, just need to find a way to get there.


No, I am no buddhist, I am a Christian Protestant from the Church of Martin Luther, although he hasn't seen me for a while in his home. But that is not the issue. The thing is, that it is time that we realize that the time has come to take responsibility for ourselves. Stop blaming the world for your life, for what you have or mainly for what you don't have. And most of all, be happy!


We have so many reasons to be happy but no, we spent hours blaming our swimsuit that we cannot swim, or the boss for our bad paycheck or politicians for everything else that is wrong. No, stop doing that and start seeing the beauty that surrounds us - everywhere!


But you will only see it when you realize, that if you cannot swim, than because you didn't try hard enough and when you don't make as much money as your neighbor, maybe it is because you didn't study that extra lesson or you don't work that extra hour or you, you, you. It is not them, it is you.


I don't say that to make you feel even more misery or think that you are a looser, not at all. I say that because when you realize, than you have the chance to change it and to make your life be just the way you want it to be! It's never to late to become whatever you want to be. You just have to know the rules and to do whatever is necessary to get there, and when you do, you will!


There is one thing though that makes your dream-come-true even faster:


KINDNESS


Be kind to you and be kind to others. Actually be kind to everything and anything and everyone. And the more kindness you give, the more you will receive and the more open your eyes will become, to see ...


You know that chapter in the Bible where they say that Jesus made that blind man see and the crippled one walk? Well, I believe that this is what they were talking about. Take responsibility, stop blaming others, take your life in your own hands and go for it. Be happy! Start you day with a friendly good morning life and go from there. Don't let circumstances take your attention away from your goal and be K I N D !!!


And soon, very soon you'll get back. More than you ever dreamed of.


Start now ... 

Scare away all bad things in your life and be happy!

I don't get it

Sometimes I think, life's chosen me to fool around with, at least for the moment. My turn to be the clown, to look into the mirror and to laugh about myself, couse this is the only way I see, that I will handle all that is happening.


The newest joke: my ex invited my mom to have some beers tonight! And she went.


Wouldn't be such a big deal if there wasn't the fact, that they both - lets say, doesn't "love" each other enough to hang around with. Actually they bitch about one another - behind their backs, ... sure. 


I am willing to believe that people change, and sometimes for better. And I really want to believe that this approach might be some kind of "lets try to be friends now and forget about the past". After all, there are the children and even separate, somehow we will stay together by that bond, forever. But honestly, my heart wants to believe that this is all for good, just the head says "open your eyes, there is heavy artillery coming!"


Despicable me to have such un-pure thoughts, but hey! I know them and I've never seen them getting along for real as long as I was married. And since I am a very gifted person, I have a very flowered fantasy, well this fantasy doesn't see any good coming towards me. Worst, I am afraid to imagine these two women bonding because if this happens, I will be screwed!


Sure, I might be a little paranoid, but after the one my mom played to me last week, I am sure you will give me right. After almost 6 months staying at my place, she finally (and don't get this wrong, I love my mother, the most when she is at her place) decided to go back to her home and just before I went to buy her ticket she said no, she changed her mind and she wanted to stay throughout the european winter and only go back to Germany in spring. 
And now this...


But you know what, I trust nature! And in nature ex-wifes and mothers don't come along. Specially not the ones that never did. After all, God can't be that mad at me, I am his son! And, ... I believe in miracles! And miracles are always for good. So, if that miracle happens and my mother and my ex-wife become friends, than I am the luckiest person in the world and have nothing to fear. Nothing at all!


Before I go, I'll let you guys have a glimpse on the lovely couple. A picture from a time where they almost liked each other. Look, aren't they cute?


Love you, bye!

Vision

When do you know that this is the one? Oh … , sure, I mean … the right person, the chosen one, the soul mate (at least for this moment), name it the way it suits you best.

Every day we meet people. We are surrounded by them … people, strangers. Among them, a special one. Someone you’ve never seen before. Somehow you make acquaintance and before you know, it hits you.

My parents, and I believe every one else’s parents to, told me as a kid not to talk to strangers. I am glad I didn’t listen otherwise I’d probably be the loneliest person in the world. For Christ’s sake, everyone is a stranger unless we talk and get to know them. Not to believe everything a stranger says and not to go with someone we don’t know, ok. But never to talk to someone … come on.

If I hadn’t spoken to that woman, I didn’t knew, I wouldn’t had married her, didn’t have my 2 babies, hmmm, wouldn’t be divorced now … (should I have listened to my parents???) … anyway, this is not what I want to talk about. The thing is, when do we know that we actually met the special person among all these strangers?

I never knew. But thinking on how it was I remember one thing that always happened to me, I had a vision.

I basically fall in love every single day. Most of the times, several times a day. I see beautiful people and I fall in love. I have a great conversation, I fall in love. I see nature doing it’s wonders, I fall in love. Even when I get a good meal, … yeah, you know! But sometimes it is different.

The first time I saw my wife (I know, ex-wife now!!), I was a jury member in a beauty contest and she worked with the producer of the event. I saw her stepping out a door about 20 meters away, cross the room crowded with people, some papers in her hand and disappearing on the other side. It took less than a minute but in my perception it took forever. And while I was watching her I had a vision. A vision of us in some backyard, 2 kids, a dog and harmony. And I felt good.

This night I didn’t stay for my jury duties. I had to leave early and I left a message for another jury member and I left this message with her. While I was leaving I saw her standing at a corner and I asked her to give my message to that person, and I left. Nothing happened.

A few days later I went to a shooting, a commercial for a hair stylist. There she was again. I did not recognize her as the one from the beauty contest but for some reason I couldn’t stop looking at her. We talked, talked, exchanged phones, talked some more, had dinner, … the rest you know.

We never got the dog!

And I wonder, does this happen just to me? How does it happen with others? Will it happen again?

I know it is special, I know it happens every day everywhere. Strangers become friends, friends become couples, couples become family. The wonders of life. And next time someone tells you not to talk to strangers, do not listen! Talk to as many strangers possible, get to know them, become friends. And love. Who knows we make this world a better place when we get to know all these strangers we live side by side with every day! But if you meet someone and for no reason you have a vision, be aware, this might be the one special one waiting for you. Don’t be afraid. Go for it! It doesn’t matter for how long it lasts, just don’t miss that special chance to find love, to find happiness.

Hey! Let me get to know you better! Why don’t you tell me how you found your special love? Write it to me, down in the comments. Share with me. Feel free to share with me your stories. I’d love to read them.

Take care …

november 2005

Music Was My First Love

A world without music, how would it be? Well, as far as my concern, it would be black and white. 


I know, some of you might say now: "You are a photographer! So what about this music talk?!" Yes, my world is made of pictures, but my pictures talk. My pictures tell stories and the music gives them life.


I don't know about you, but when I look at a picture I hear the light sing a melody. I can't see an image without feeling the music within. Just like in the movies. Turn of the sound and watch a movie and you will know what I mean. 


Music surrounds me wherever I go and whatever I do. It makes memories come back alive, it fills my world with emotions it makes me feel human, makes me love and makes me feel loved, enlightens a moment, makes me sad and sometimes makes me cry. But music never lets me down. And before I made my first picture, music already surrounded me and already was part of me. And it will always be.


So in homage to those wonderful artist that transform sound in music, the way I transform light in images, here goes my very thank you. Thank you so much, couse without you, my world wouldn't exist.

Divorced

My lawyer called me earlier informing that as of today, I became part of one more statistics: I am divorced.


Only some little paperwork to do and everything is over and I can start a new ... whatever.


Things set as asked for, we share guard for the kids, kids registered and living with me, spend 1/2 the time with the mother that from now on uses again her maiden name. 


Funny, just today, a little after I received the message I met some old friend from school (on Facebook) - we haven't seen or talked for 30 years now, and when she asked how I was doing, I told her shortly what has happened all these years and well, my new status. Her question to me was odd: "Should I congratulate you for this now?" I didn't know.


All my life one of my dreams was to mary and live happily ever after till death breaks us apart. It took me almost 40 years to finally step in front of the alter and swear that this would be exactly what I would do, in good and in bad times, sickness or health, rich or poor, faithful ... ... 


Nine years later, it is over. 


I believe that there is no one else to blame than myself. I could have done more to maintain this marriage. I should have ... But I didn't.


No, I didn't cheat on her or she on me, we didn't break up in one of these crazy fights we so often see, we simply wore out our relationship. We simply grew apart.


Throughout my life I had many ups and downs, I've been shot at, I went to war, saw misery, got sick, had to do and went through things man shouldn't have to do or go through, but right now, this very moment, I feel as if this is the worst day in my life.

Death

I just spoke to a friend of mine, I haven't spoken to for a while. He was pretty sad. He lost his girlfriend of just 20 years of age and a few days later his grandfather. Tough isn't it? After I gave him my condolences we chatted a little. During our conversation I remembered when my dad passed away - I was with him at the moment -, I remembered friends I lost over the years, and than it hit me, ... again.


What is the deal with us suffering so much, every time someone we care about passes? I don't get it.


Christian or not, unless you are an atheist, everybody in every religion somehow believes that we, after we leave this life, somehow will wake up in paradise, or any place paradise like. We won't suffer of any pain, will never hunger again or feel cold. Never be sick and live happy ever after. We even will re-encounter all our loved ones that left before us. So, if this is the case, shouldn't we be happy?


Shouldn't we celebrate that another one of us made it and left behind this ... place, closer to hell than anything I know. Full of hatred, wars, suffering, problems, sickness and diseases, politicians, ... ... lawyers ... Shouldn't we be happy for our loved one being in paradise now? So what is all this wining about? 


Are we in reality angry because he or she made it and that we are still here and have to clean up the mess and keep living in chaos? Do we envy the ones that left? Would we rather change place? No. no. no, some of you might say, we cry because we miss our friends and family. We miss being close and talking with them and having a good time or just being there or to have someone to borrow money from.


But, if this paradise story is for real, wouldn't we be a little selfish not to be happy for them and to wish them back here with us? Shouldn't we get drunk and be happy and look forward to get our job done and to join them in paradise? 


Unless we are not sure about paradise and the reunion, or we don't believe any of that. Than, yes, in that case I'd be sad to and would cry the lost of a loved one, knowing that I never would see him or her again and that every word unspoken, would stay that way. And every moment missed and chance to say how much I cared was inevitable gone. 


Since I don't know, I will use this opportunity to say all of you how much I care, and I am happy to have you as my friend and even when we not see us every day, in my heart, I keep the memories of the time we spent together warm, and I want you to know how important you are for me and even though we might meet again, I will miss you.

Franz Ziehe                             Alex Neves

See you in heaven!

Birthday

Today is my soon-to-be ex-wife's birthday. For the first time in 10 years that I am not invited. My babies are there and I assume having a good time. And I, I am not sure what to think about it. Even more, I really don't know how to feel, just in case I have to feel something at all.


Anyway, it is a very strange situation and since it is less than a year since we broke up, I believe that I am not yet used to this new status. 


My friends say that I am lucky and that the chicks are out there just waiting for me and as soon I wave hands they will drop in like... don't know what. But, why don't I feel lucky? What if I think of all the good times we had in those past 10 years, and the 2 beautiful girls we had together? Them girls I see today suffering from this separation, even though they try to hide their feelings about it. Oh yes, they are slowly learning to take advantage of the situation, but how often, when I tuck them in at night, I hear them say "I miss mommy". Than I have to say "yes honey, I miss mom to".


Maybe it is because we actually didn't break up in one of these awful fights we so often see. We just sat and decided that it was time for change. Actually she decided that it was time for her to change. And what a change ...


Yes, you are right. I still love my wife and I miss her and I wish the very best for her now and in the future. I just hope that she is happy now, with her changes. And I, I will be happy to.

And History Continues

"I am horny!" was quite an experience. Believe me, when I got back home I was a wiser kid. The lesson I learned, you better study hard and right, never to live such an experience again - in other words: be prepared for all that may come! 


So I did. Soon after, we moved again. Barcelona, Spain, was our destination. New school, new friends, new adventures. I got my first motorbike, a Montesa. Moto-cross was my new hobby. Every day after school, sometimes before and few times during school hours you could find me at the cross range. Just loved it.


It was in Barcelona that I got deeper into that "other sex" stuff. I discovered what exactly the difference between boys and girls was and, ... I loved it. 
Another discovery was beer! Never thought that having a few, couple, plenty of beers could be so ... funny. So whenever we could, we skipped class and hang out in the nearest "bodega" playing flipper and having a few beers. 


These good times lasted for 2 years, when we moved again. This time back to Germany. I have to say that after all, we were a funny, light, life loving group of teenager and very innocent. We did our share of "shit" but no one ever got hurt except for one time when one of us looked a bit to deep into the bottle and ended up in the nearest hospital to have her stomach pumped empty. Well, as I said, shit happens!

 

(On the pictures: Isabel Reyes - I had a crusch on her but she didn't knew - in Ibiza and 

Meike Yessen & viola Schmidt in our classroom in Barcelona)

Back in Germany, almost a grown up,  my life changed a little. I finished school, joined the federal police, during that time I went to college and started a photography career that would definitely make a huge change in everything. But before photography took over, I went trough a few other experiences still looking to find my way, and to find me.

(Believe it or not, it is me there, third from left on my knee)

Promise

Every 2 years, at least here in Brazil, people are called to its civil duty. We are called to vote for our representation in government.

Supposedly we are the second largest, biggest, fakest, whatever democracy in the world. And in plenty twenty first century, in that so-called democracy, the act of voting is obligatory. So the real choice we have is actually not if we vote or not, it is who of them scumbags we give authorization to screw us for at least 4 years.

I might sound a little bitter here, but honestly, read the books and papers! For the past 500 years (here in Brazil) there has been mainly stealing, lying, torturing, killing, some more lying and stealing and even more killing among our leaders. The ones we voted into office because they promised us to work in our interests – in the interest of the people.

And we do it again and again. And we will do it in the future as well. Why? Because the ones that get the message and don’t want to become part of this big conspiracy business, leave. Leave the country in pursuit of happiness, elsewhere. 

The ones that stay, believing that change might happen, or simply for the love they feel for their home, become minority. Minority of educated people in a humongous country, where most of its inhabitants barely read or write their names – but all vote, it’s mandatory. Government even lowered age to make more people eligible to vote. A country in which the majority of simple and honest people don’t understand what the government is doing to them and are happy as long as they maintain their humble way of life in some dignity, hoping for change some day and believing that this time, politician will keep their promises and work for good.

And as long education is minority, as long majority believes and lacks of ambition simply because they don’t know better, as long as the big ones want to become bigger and bigger and couldn’t care less about the rest, things won’t change.

But there is still hope.

There is hope because these big and smart ones ain’t so smart after all. They make mistakes. Since they are so occupied becoming richer and richer, sometimes they miss some important issue. And one very big issue they missed for sure and it might break some neck.

When they made internet available for all, thinking about selling computers and software and making billions of dollars with communication, they forgot that with communication comes information!  And people communicate well. And people started to wake up. And people are exchanging information and nothing can be hidden from the masses anymore. And people started messing up them big ones plans. And they desperately try to fix it by monopolizing services and buying all the networks people created and try to control again the information people get.

But it’s to late!

And history teaches us, it needs only a hand full of illusionists, a hand full of dreamer willing and ready for change, and the crowd might see it, and like it, and go for it.

And for the first time in mankind’s history, people might choose right and get together as one and realize that everything is connected and that we can’t do harm to somebody without doing harm to ourselves and that when we do god to other we do so to us.

I have a dream and in my dream people keep the promises they make, people treat each other with kindness and respect, people work together and take care of each other. And no, I am no socialist. I just want this world to be what it supposed to be, Heaven on Earth.

It won’t happen today, neither tomorrow. But today, right now, is a good day to start changing.

Hi s tory

People often ask me who I am. "Well", I use to answer, "as soon I figure that out I let you know!" So I decided to go deep into my memories, write them down and see if I get an answer.


I was born last of three childs, in an upper middle class home in Rio de Janeiro. And when I say last I mean dead last. My sister is 10 years older and my bro 6, so imagine how that was. My dad was a diplomat for the german Government and my mom a housewife. 


One thing my parents really liked was moving. Every other year we changed address and every 4 years we went even further. We changed countries. Than there were the holidays, birthdays, regular and indispensable visits of some relatives and many other reasons I don't recall, for us to travel. So most of the time I lived out of bags in some hotel room. Imagine how frustrating it is for a young person to boarder a plane and the entire crew knows you by name. You go "Hello Captain Auschel!" and he answers "Oh, no, not him again!"


In my teens life became more complicated. I discovered that there was another sex! Yo, that was something. So immediately I fell in love with my female classmates, schoolmates, neighbor daughters, almost anybody that used a skirt. Oh and at that times all the girls used skirts. Somehow though, I was doing something wrong. I was deeply in passion, crazy for some kissing, but the girls saw me more like an older brother, good friend, to good to screw around with...


Damn! 


Well, I got my share of kissing, saw my first pair of bare boobs, touched some.... wow... and had many, not so glamorous experiences, one of witch I need to tell here.


Sometimes I went with my dad on some "business trip". On one occasion we flew to LA. He had some diplomat stuff to do and I was left with the teenage kids of his boss. I was invited to a high school party on a friday night and I was really exited about that. Had seen so many of them in the movies. 


Please remember this happened like in 1978, so different times, I just started to learn english, things in general were different.


So, we went to that party and everything was just the way I expected it to be. Music, sodas, some beer nobody should know about, girls. Girls! In special that one blond that was looking at me all the time and I couldn't resist and looked to. 
It went like this for... an eternity. My friend laughing at me and I, with no idea on what to do. But I didn't need to do anything. That gorgeous blonde came towards me, smiling, looking directly into my scared eyes... 


"Hi!"she said... ... ... ... ... I was supposed to say something but somehow my mouth was shut and wouldn't open... ... .. "Hi, I am horny!!!!"... ... ...
"Hi, I am Robert...!"


After I recovered from the slap in my face, I saw the entire party gang crying from laughter, all looking at me on the ground and the gorgeous in rage over me yelling a bunch of stuff I didn't understood. 


Hmm, now that I remember, after that, I never dated a blond again. This stuff works! An interesting way to find out who you are.


By the way, the story is true.


Love you all !!!! Soon more to come.

Those were the days! The one in the middle with them black hair 

(yes I had some) is me