Monday, April 4, 2011

I am Human to - 10 Things that really get me "thinking"...

Yes, I am human. And within this, my humaness, I have moments of sheer disbelief - so to say. Some of my friends call this my "zero tolerance moments" and I really don't care ... I just live trought them and right after, I am the same good boy again, everybody knows ... or think they know ... who knows???

So, here is a list of things that really get me going:

  1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is, buddy: where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is?
  2. When I am waiting in line for the bus and some freak asks, “hey did the bus come yet?” “Yes, and I decided to stay here and let you know that you missed it.”
  3. People who are willing to get off their bottom to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
  4. Trying to suppress a sneeze when you have diarrhea.
  5. When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?
  6. When people say, while watching a movie, "Did you see that?" No, pimple nose: I paid $7.50 to come to the theatre and stare at the frikken ceiling up there. What did you come here for?
  7. The radio ad, "Hi, I'm Jeff Healey from the Jeff Healey Band. Don't drink and drive. I don't". Well, I hope you don't drive sober either, Mr. Healey. You're blind for God's sake.
  8. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice, did ya there buddy?
  9. When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
  10. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going. You should know, captain: you pulled me over.

I promisse to work on my issues, just don't know when!

Love ya all! Kisses...